what softness whispered through me

“what softness whispered through me” is a multi-media exploration of the beauty inherent in vulnerability and ways in which the audience can experience a wash of emotion and sensation as they journey with the dancers to a point of complete openness.

Choreography, poetry, video, and costumes by Alisa Fendley, music by Zachary Walter, and dancing by Titilayo Derricotte, Alisa Fendley, Nathalie Matychak, Julie McMillan, Amelia Munro, and Joanna Taubeneck (a duet version has also been crafted and perfomed).

Here is the text of the spoken poetry:

dont touch me take me dont tangle me to you, till cuffs and clamps cinch my mind to yours and lungs seize like sharks teeth. scared and scarred from splinters of disconnect i splinter from you, falling like flint flaking off and as i fling myself to a single thread of survival; a cliff hanger recklessly clicking away at lifelines till every endless afternoon melts into sleepless summer nights and slips into dazed drugged distance and i scurry from myself within, wrapped in winters of cold cigarettes and zippers frozen zipped. stark in the sharp, fleck of flakes across the face, the flesh of snow upon the phalanges of trees, bristle in milky cold. fleeing grasp skipping tripping; the sandpaper of pavement on ankles; watermelon veracity of childhood scabs petrified into antithetical prosthetics, black and white museum exhibitions, plastered and smashed, fluttering away like so many flocks of  snowflakes-memories drift. the moon suddenly stunning, a pleasant slap it snaps focus into focus, my eyelashes the golden frames for frozen angels. blurred black sky behind black branches-the shivering veins of the earth inhaling breath above the cement sea, perpetually in memory, could crush me snap my sternum sticks and stones twigs could twinge tendons tears-dont risk it. apocryphal epilepsy of synthetic skin, medicated with domestic rebellion, sliced and sharpie-ed, stains of tattoos on breasts- resplendent extinction darkened with time. images of mortality will stamp the linings of skin coffins, so lovers’ names and waves and blossoms- come springtime, beckon others to clutch the moment. a kite among broken birds i lean towards the ledge, the legend of lift where walls of static are pierced with the inhalation of your irises; rockets through to my trembling breath. wrap me in your warmth of flannel and peel these leather layers from my mind. scrub me clean with dirt and rinse me with the cold sunrise breath. let the trees swallow me. i need you to cleave my flesh from my bone and leave me hollow to be filled with light, for i have clogged the crevices with self-loathing and spring is the time to hatch through dead heavy burdens, stone breasts and anvil legs that have forgotten the joy of leaping. chill me freeze me thaw me, dig your fingers through my ribs so i remember what softness once whispered through me. i roll on, unraveling with each rotation-the strand tags along behind me, part of me a trail for lovers to trace. your glance, your skin soft as feathers, mothers boas, my childhood memories; feeling of fingers soothing my scalp, desire to curl into fetus blankets and never leave the whisper of your fingertips. sopapilla dreams of quiet sun bathed afternoons logrolling down lawn slopes. blurred blue sky behind brown branches-endless afternoons melt from sullen lullabies to soft daydreams, a kite among broken birds i lean towards the ledge, the legend of lift- realize in fear i had sealed my eyelids, recoiled from lovers names and waves and sweetened days, run from springtimes to come, banned memories of delicacies, forgotten to breathe, until- caressed by the instant, dissolved. unveiled, only gentle petals, roses wafting homeward. unfurl your flowers and let me feast upon their smiles. the moment after the sigh when breath hugs below bone- the milky moon suddenly stunning. we gamble memories like pennies smiling up from our wishing well eyes. remember what softness, what gentle petals, roses wafting homeward. sensitized end to averted eyes, the softness to really see, a soaring kite among broken birds, dangling on dreams. returned to lovers names and waves and sweetened days, springtimes to come, memories of delicacies, a pause to breathe, until surrender into sea sunrise. allowed to be a passenger of the ocean, strong palms of the waves, my pillows. fingertips tingling-acupuncture of the sun. let go, infants passing from sweet lullabies to sweet dreams. waking to the sound of sunrise, suspended skydive into trust, unsheathed. in the pause before our pulses merge i give you my stories like mango slices, until your caresses scrape secrets. we think to sink like drifting into fields of daisies. tease each of your fingers over mine, lace them, like coaxing the tendrils of sugar laden honey suckle until they unbind. unbury me. tenderly tangle you to me. we wait until we’ve learned the breath of our motion, sought each other out like a butterflies alighting on petals. dig your fingers through my ribs until my raw viscera knows your name. we unfold. unforming, the strand tags along between us, intertwined trails to trace. fold in upon formation. shocking sunlit stencils of mellow melon smells. the pause after an exhale. the warm whirlpool cleanse, dust particling above the ashes, suspension of disbelief released. joy like strong sinew, choirs of taut violin strings radiate from the sun. touch, a reminder of what skin can be. drop like diamonds through the sea till each resplendent lens of the waves has caressed me with its loving gaze and sunrises become oceans instead of snapshots. i become aware again of the taste of tongues, my lips parted to inhale the scent of stars above mountaintops. a fleet of doors flies open with a gust of wind from a thousand lovers whispers. muscles let go,  an infant, i pass from sweet lullabies to sweet dawns, left hollow to be filled with light. vulnerable, i hear what softness whispers through me.


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